Fresh Salt in Open Wounds
I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. - Galatians 2:20
This is the season of rejection. I received a word last night that this is a season where fresh salt will be poured on old open wounds. The sting is incredible. "Ah, I remember this feeling," my flesh cries out as I wince and coil away. I see it for what it is. I know this cut, I know this wound. I remember all the times it happened. I remember the first scrape and every time I accidentally pealed off the scab before it was healed.
Rejection is something I have dealt with often in my short life. It has taken many different forms in many different settings but the feeling is always the same. Many people respond in anger, but I can't muster up enough strength to be angry. My emotion comes in simple despair and low self worth.
This is rarely the intention of the words or actions of the people that surround us. No one wakes up with the intention of making another angry or causing them despair. (If the previous statement is untrue, allow me to believe it to be true for my own sanity.) Somehow though, all of us have the means to unknowingly cause another to feel as though they are rejected.
Right now, rejection is something that is very much in my face. It is like fresh salt on old open wounds, as said last night. It is starting to force me to face old hurts and even look at why I am feeling the way I am. How do I combat such an ugly feeling?
I'm beginning to learn that rejection is from my misplaced values. My value is being placed in my works sometimes. Am I doing enough to be someone of worth? Am I serving others enough? Am I being selfless? Sometimes, I place my worth even in what other people think. If they consider me to be a good person, if they consider me worthy to receive their love and support, I must be ok. The true is same for the contrasting views. If they don't consider me worthy, or even tolerable, I must be, well, trash.
Where should my value be? Where should my self worth come from? Where should my identity come from? It needs to come from Christ. Gal 2:20. I need to identify myself only with Him. The feeling of rejection is simply me taking my eyes off Christ and sinking into the depths of the sea.
Where are your eyes?
This is the season of rejection. I received a word last night that this is a season where fresh salt will be poured on old open wounds. The sting is incredible. "Ah, I remember this feeling," my flesh cries out as I wince and coil away. I see it for what it is. I know this cut, I know this wound. I remember all the times it happened. I remember the first scrape and every time I accidentally pealed off the scab before it was healed.
Rejection is something I have dealt with often in my short life. It has taken many different forms in many different settings but the feeling is always the same. Many people respond in anger, but I can't muster up enough strength to be angry. My emotion comes in simple despair and low self worth.
This is rarely the intention of the words or actions of the people that surround us. No one wakes up with the intention of making another angry or causing them despair. (If the previous statement is untrue, allow me to believe it to be true for my own sanity.) Somehow though, all of us have the means to unknowingly cause another to feel as though they are rejected.
Right now, rejection is something that is very much in my face. It is like fresh salt on old open wounds, as said last night. It is starting to force me to face old hurts and even look at why I am feeling the way I am. How do I combat such an ugly feeling?
I'm beginning to learn that rejection is from my misplaced values. My value is being placed in my works sometimes. Am I doing enough to be someone of worth? Am I serving others enough? Am I being selfless? Sometimes, I place my worth even in what other people think. If they consider me to be a good person, if they consider me worthy to receive their love and support, I must be ok. The true is same for the contrasting views. If they don't consider me worthy, or even tolerable, I must be, well, trash.
Where should my value be? Where should my self worth come from? Where should my identity come from? It needs to come from Christ. Gal 2:20. I need to identify myself only with Him. The feeling of rejection is simply me taking my eyes off Christ and sinking into the depths of the sea.
Where are your eyes?
posted by Kim McInerney | 9:32 PM
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