Forgiveness

I was reflecting the other day on forgivess. As I praying about it, I was really hit by the Godly definition versus our own definition. We say, "I forgive you" but we don't mean it as God does. When God forgives us, He erases the entire act from His mind and heart and restores you, but when we forigve, we let go of the current issue, pack it in the back of our minds so that we can bring it up later.

We all do this at times. We all udder the words, "I forgive you," then quickly add, "...but I'm still upset." God never adds a "but". God simply says I forgive you and I've forgotten. How can God do this? Why can't we as well?

I believe it comes back to surrender. We don't forget because we feel a need to protect ourselves. "If I forget, then how do I prevent it from happening again?" You don't. God never sees a need to protect Himself. He doesn't lack self esteem. He doesn't have fear. He is not lonely. He's God.

How do we come close to this? Forgiving and forgetting, well, at least the forgetting part, isn't an easy thing, perhaps even impossible in some cases. So what do we do instead? We forgive and we focus on God. We take a moment to stop focusing on the hurt, the causes and consequences and we turn our eyes to God. We take a moment to glance at His heart, His love, His grace, His compassion.

I find myself often praying, "God, give me a heart for this person," through gritted teeth and clenched fists. I must say, I don't often receive that heart. But the odd occasion, when I truly want to chase God's heart in forgiveness, I turn to Him and say, "Lord, show me your love. Show me Your compassion, Your grace and Your mercy. Renew in my mind the grace that I have received so that I can also forgive." It is in these times that I "know" the heart of God in my heart. Then, I can forgive.

God's forgiveness is unlike ours because His is focused on a self-less love. Mine is, unfortunately, not quite there. Yes, it is focused on love, but self-less? No, I still protect myself, hide my heart and clench my fists, even as I forgive.

Can we change the way we look at forgiveness? Search your heart as I search mine.