Walk by Faith

Then I said, "Alas, Lord God!
Behold, I do not know how to speak,
Because I am a youth."
But the Lord said to me,
"Do not say, 'I am a youth,'
Because everywhere I send you, you shall go,
And all that I command you, you shall speak..."

- Jeremiah 1:6-7

Recently, I was offered an opportunity to become a youth pastor with a great church in Hawaii. At first, I was very excited about the position and I wanted to accept it immediately. I felt His voice say, "Be still."

Time has passed now and I have spent a great deal of time praying into this. With time, it has only felt like more and more of an option.

As I went to send an email to accept the position, I got a very uneasy feeling. I saved it as a draft. Over the night my feelings became doubts and fears of the flesh. I doubted my ability to do the position, because I am such a new Christian. Many other small fears came up as well. Overall, I was just unsure.

I went to the word and asked God what to read and He took me back to the verses He gave me over the last couple months, including Jeremiah 1:6-7 and 2 Tim 1:7. He spoke to me of boldness, courage, and walking by faith.

Over the last 6 months, he has taught me, through many crazy, unexpected circumstances, the meaning of truly walking by faith, sometimes even recklessly, when you hear his voice. He has taught me that fear of man is not of Him, but feeling the weight of the calling is what He desires.

Everytime I have stood to preach, I have been overcome with fear, not "Oh, what will they think?" but a real fear simply in the weight of the message, the weight of the calling. It is at that moment that I realize that it was indeed God's choice to have me infront of these people and I am speaking on His behalf. I am saying what He wants said. The simple weight of that is intense.

Though I feel this fear now, I am reminded that He is in control. Though I may stand to speak, it is Him who speaks. With this position, I still feel the fear (and I am glad I do, because it helps to keep me focused on Him,) yet I know, it is not me doing the work but Him working in me and through me.

I must walk by faith.